Love and Mercy between Spouses for healing
Diseases
It was in Allah's Book before fourteen
centuries Almighty's saying, "And among His
Signs is this, that He created for you mates
from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in
tranquillity with them, and He has put love
and mercy between your (hearts): verily in
that are Signs for those who reflect." [Ar-Rum:
The Roman: 21] It is a great verse that we
discover its secrets day after a day. One who
considers this verse, realizes the importance
of sympathetic, mercy and love between
spouses, and also discovers that Allah has
given us a way for success, healing and
happiness in our marital life, that is we take
the way of love and mercy. But, unfortunately,
we deviated greatly from that course, and
thus problems stemmed, especially the
divorce phenomenon which spread like fire in
hay. There are domestic violence, family
disintegration and millions of husbands who
do not enjoy happiness with their wives,
why?
The answer is included in the above verse,
and Allah summarized it into two words: (love
and mercy). As long as there are love,
sympathetic and compassion between the
spouses, life will be happy and quiet. By
disappearance of these two "indicators" from
the house, happiness vanishes and life
becomes unbearable hell.
However, the new discovery which was
revealed by scientific studies was that family
quarrel is an obvious reason for weak
immunity, and the implications of this quarrel
are not only reflected on psychological
comfort but they lead to fragile immunity in
individuals who are suffering from it. This has
been confirmed recently by experts from
United States in studies and experiments they
had done. (According to Germany News
Agency) Their Homepage reported that:
A group of American experts have reached a
conclusion that man immunity is negatively
affected in case of the outbreak of family
disputes. This is the result of a study
conducted on 42 families that experienced
martial disputes. Simultaneously, researchers
supported that family quarrel and no accord
between spouses lead mostly to family health
deterioration. This applies especially to
individuals who are suffering from disease
symptoms. Some Swedish researchers
validated that family disputes lead in most
occasions to doubling heart attacks in those
who are already suffering from heart
diseases. Also, studies pointed that work
stress does not lead to complications that
family quarrel leads to.
Dr. Janice Kiecolt-Glaser and her colleagues
from the Internal Surgery & Psychology
Division in Columbus University, Ohio carried
tests on wounds healing in spouses who are
experiencing family disputes. In this regard,
physicians put measuring devices under the
armpit of the study participant. A nurse took
blood samples before the wound and after.
Experts were asking subjects certain
questions, besides, conducting certain
psychological tests. In addition, they asked
the spouses to discuss certain topics. Results
of these tests showed how the spouses dealt
with each other, besides, evaluating marital
relation based on these results. The results
showed that more than one third of the
spouses who were subjected to tests lived in
a hostility environment. In addition, these
subjects expressed their anger by uttering
profanity during discussion of certain topics
and made movements unusual in the daily life
of spouses accompanied with weird charges.
Subjects did not listen to each other during
quarrels. The study verified that wound
healing period in spouses who quarrel is
more than in spouses who lead a happy and
joyful life.
Study Results:
We, as Muslims, Allah has blessed us with the
grace of faith. We are glad that Allah Almighty
advised us to take care of women and the
Prophet (pbuh), Almighty says, "live with them
on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take
a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a
thing, and Allah brings about through it a
great deal of good." [An-Nisa: The Women:
19] The Prophet says, "Urge you to treat
women well"
This is the greatness of Islam. It has brought
us benefit, good and healing.
If we look into the statements of
psychologists and the studies of Neuro
Linguistic Programming, we will find their
advices to spouses. The most important of
them is if you were complaining from marital
problems at home, try to convince yourself
that your wife is perfect and look for beautiful
things in her and things that attract you to
her, and remember that any woman has
many beautiful things, nonetheless, you have
to look for and see the bright side and then
the dark side disappears!
Dears, these advices were reported by
psychologists specialized in handling marital
problems. There are thousands of books
written on the topic, but the Quran
summarized all that in one line. Let us
consider and delve into these wonderful
divine words. I recommend to anyone who is
suffering from a family problem to repeat
these words: "If ye take a dislike to them it
may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah
brings about through it a great deal of
good." [An-Nisa: The Women: 19]

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